1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,544
Hey, y'all.
Just a reminder.

2
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,254
Until the leak in the gym
is fixed, it's off limits.

3
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,548
Last thing we need is a parent
slipping and suing the school.

4
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,217
You guys,
I'm trying to do printouts

5
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:10,218
for the Open House
tomorrow.

6
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,886
My laptop keeps crashing.

7
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:15,097
Does anybody have a functioning
computer I can jump on?

8
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,183
Nope.
Mine crashed twice this morning.

9
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:20,102
Yes, but you have to tap
my monitor three times

10
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,772
and say a little prayer
for the Wi-Fi to work.

11
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,816
Yeah, so because the district
took away all of our stuff

12
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,735
from the golf course,

13
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,279
and Ava gave away our funds
to other schools

14
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,781
at the budget meeting.

15
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,616
Abbott's back to square one.

16
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,702
Not my favorite shape.
More of a triangle, girly.

17
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,788
I actually played a triangle
in high school if you...

18
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,623
Anyway, we have a plan.

19
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,667
As part of the Open House
this year,

20
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,795
we are having a car wash
to raise money.

21
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,340
Okay,
before I blast this on socials

22
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:51,133
that I don't have to pay
to be verified on,

23
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,510
how much are we charging
for the car wash?

24
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,887
Ah, we are not charging
anything

25
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,764
and relying
purely on donations.

26
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,892
Ha! You know, when you rely on
the kindness in people's hearts,

27
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,895
you start to realize there is
no kindness in people's hearts.

28
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,482
No, look, we lure people in
with a free car wash,

29
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,944
but then they see the cute kids
and us working extremely hard,

30
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:12,029
and they feel guilty.

31
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:14,615
And people will pay anything
to get rid of the guilt.

32
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,285
Well, donations work wonders
for my church. Mm-hmm.

33
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,995
My church promised me
my own planet.

34
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,496
They better pay up.

35
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,706
Jacob: Great.
And are we-

36
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,082
are we still going to
call it AVA Fest?

37
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,625
You know,
to pay homage to Ava?

38
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:28,546
Yeah, if you want to pay homage
and a hefty licensing fee.

39
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:31,591
She trademarked AVA Fest,
and she sent a cease and desist.

40
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,718
Mm.
How?

41
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,095
Girlfriend.

42
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,097
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]

43
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,100
- Captions by Verbit-

44
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:47,357
?

45
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,693
Thank you
for bringing me today.

46
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,653
Tell Johnny I'm sorry
he had to ride on the ladder.

47
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,865
Ah, he's used to it.
Plus, he's rooting for us. Mm.

48
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,658
[ Firetruck horn honks ]
Ah, duty calls.

49
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,452
Oh.
Try not to pull any fire alarms today, Mel.

50
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,787
I'll try.
No promises.

51
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,831
Hey,
what are you doing?

52
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,958
I'm getting my stuff ready
for the car wash.

53
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,209
I hope they put me
on cupholders.

54
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,795
They're always so nasty.

55
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,131
Dia, can you have
Mr. Johnson disinfect

56
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,508
the admin desk
regularly?

57
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:17,178
The kids touch this,
and we see what they can do.

58
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,347
First of all, Mr. Johnson is
not my jurisdiction.

59
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,641
Second of all,
it's Open House.

60
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,435
Right. I used to get so stressed
out about talking to parents,

61
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:27,855
but the full-time sub
is taking over my class,

62
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,357
which is such a relief.

63
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,775
Okay, yeah,
but some of the parents

64
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,443
are going to want to talk
to the principal,

65
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,320
not just the teachers.
Yep.

66
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,780
It's like
when you go to the store

67
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,114
and you want to speak
to the manager.

68
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,366
Yeah,
I've never done that.

69
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,659
I've always been able
to find a resolution

70
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,369
without escalating
the situation.

71
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:44,413
But Ava never talked
to anybody.

72
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,582
Ava can get away with that.
You ain't Ava.

73
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,833
[ Chuckling ] No.
[ Chuckles ]

74
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,543
The parents are going to
want to talk to you,

75
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:52,171
and they are going to have
a lot of questions.

76
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,256
Well, I don't love
the sound of that.

77
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,842
What- What-
What should I prepare for?

78
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,803
"Prepare."
[ Both laugh ]

79
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,346
You can't prepare.

80
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,139
No, they're going to throw
everything at you-

81
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,142
complaints, concerns, compliments.

82
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,103
But mostly complaints
and concerns.

83
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,604
You're saying there's-

84
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,773
there's nothing I can do
to plan for this?

85
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:11,857
[ Robotic voice ]
Beep, bop, boop.

86
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,442
I am Gregbot.

87
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,362
I cannot deviate
from my plans.

88
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,989
[ Chuckles ]
[ Normal voice ] That's you.

89
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,408
And here you go.

90
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,660
I'm not tall enough
to reach the top of the car.

91
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,453
Oh, that's okay.
I'll get those spots.

92
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,415
[ Scoffs ] You're like
an inch taller than me.

93
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:31,502
Mm. Okay, everyone,
if you don't have a parent,

94
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,213
then you're on car-wash duty,
and we'll keep rotating, right?

95
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,464
Are we ready?
Together: Yes.

96
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,340
Melissa: Yes. Ready.

97
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,508
Guess what- Guess-

98
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,510
Guess what I found
in the basement.

99
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:41,262
Last person
who should have a megaphone.

100
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,513
I haven't got
the timing down yet,

101
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,515
but I will
when it's show showtime.

102
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,434
[ Feedback ]
Oh, my God.

103
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,769
Let it be known
that I will not be a-scrubbing,

104
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,354
rubbing,
or a-dubbing,

105
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,481
and the only thing I buff
are my nails.

106
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:57,111
But if you want somebody
to count your donations,

107
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,779
I'm your gal.
Okay.

108
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,656
Okay. Speaking of which,
I made this

109
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,033
so we could keep track
of all the dough we make today.

110
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,161
Alright? Remember,
we ain't doing this for free.

111
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:08,747
Well, technically,
we can- It is a highly suggested

112
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,500
And by "highly suggested,"
I mean you hold that tip jar

113
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,587
right up into their face
until it gets uncomfortable.

114
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,548
Which also works
with divorce papers, too. Mm.

115
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,468
And I also invited all
of the members from my church.

116
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,845
And you will never believe
who is- [ Leaf blower whirs ]

117
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,055
I blew dirt on all the cars
in the neighborhood

118
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,640
and the ones
at the golf course, too.

119
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,976
And don't worry,
I wore a disguise.

120
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,479
Call me Mr. Morton.

121
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,189
Uh, hey, should we be worried
about the weather?

122
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,399
It says there's a high chance
of rain.

123
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,152
The only thing there's
a high chance of is success.

124
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,196
Guys, let's fill
this thermometer.

125
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,127
Together: Yeah!
Woman: That's right.

126
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:47,244
Welcome to Abbott. Hello.
I'm Interim Principal Eddie.

127
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,873
Well, Mr. Interim Principal,
show 'em what you got.

128
00:04:49,874 --> 00:04:53,751
Hi. Uh, welcome to Abbott.
I'm Interim Principal Eddie.

129
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,382
Mom:
Are you the new principal?

130
00:04:55,383 --> 00:04:58,464
Uh, I'm the interim principal,
yes. You'll do.

131
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,716
Listen, my child is
in fifth grade now,

132
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,801
and I have been
to every Open House,

133
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:06,388
AVA Fest, or whatever you guys
are calling it these days,

134
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,724
and no one has been able
to answer my question.

135
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,518
Okay, well,
I'll do my best,

136
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:13,395
but I just want to reiterate
that I am the interim principal.

137
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,981
I know what "interim" means.
Is he for real?

138
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,901
The school website
does not explain what any

139
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,654
of the extracurricular
activities are.

140
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,823
Like, what is
a Garden Goofball?

141
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,991
I'm really glad
that you asked.

142
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,244
I actually run
that after-school program.

143
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,621
Um, it teaches the students
responsibility

144
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,206
while also learning
about horticulture.

145
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,708
Right now we're harvesting
strawberries, tomatoes, cabbage.

146
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,585
Cabbage?
Yeah.

147
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,588
And sensory plants, like
scented herbs and lavender,

148
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,049
and a mimosa plant
for touch.

149
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,843
Well, thank you,
interim principal.

150
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,262
Yeah. No problem.

151
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:47,263
And I'll make a note
to update the website.

152
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,139
Mm-hmm.

153
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,516
I think
I'm getting better at this.

154
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,811
Well she did ask
the one thing you know.

155
00:05:52,812 --> 00:05:55,062
This whole time
I've been giving you

156
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,606
the benefit of the doubt.

157
00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,150
Um, oh, hey, Gregory,
could you please come out?

158
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,193
Right away?

159
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,570
Oh, no. What?
Is it raining?

160
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,113
No, just...
come outside!

161
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,197
We got a situation!
Sorry.

162
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,408
Okay.
Stay on the ground.

163
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,579
[ Horn honks ]
Hey, we don't have all day.

164
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:15,207
Ooh, I know I prayed
for a good turnout,

165
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,294
but these hands were made
for praying, not for spraying.

166
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,296
I think we're going to need
more shammies.

167
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,340
[ Horns honking ]
Oh. Oh. Oh.

168
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,970
Morton,
why aren't you helping?

169
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,722
And is this
a sleeping bag?

170
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,599
Yeah, I just leased
this all-electric car,

171
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,142
and it's actually
not a bad place to sleep.

172
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,768
Which is really helpful
when you don't know

173
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,395
if you're welcome at home
each night.

174
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,814
Okay, well, you're going to
get out and finish it yourself.

175
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,942
Uh, Ava.
Oh, my God. Ava.

176
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,320
Hey,
what are you doing here?

177
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,196
I just finished
a speaking engagement in Jersey,

178
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,740
so, obviously,
I need a car wash.

179
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,158
[ Both chuckle ]

180
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,784
And I heard someone here
had the dumb idea

181
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,329
to raise money
by washing cars for free.

182
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:56,540
Well,
that someone would disagree.

183
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,459
Listen,
if you need the cash,

184
00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,918
I have a list of high-net-worth
potential donors

185
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,086
in the top drawer
of my old desk.

186
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,212
You should hit them up.

187
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:04,006
Barbara:
I don't think we'll need to.

188
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,716
We've got cars lined up
around the block.

189
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,635
I think we're going to be
just fine.

190
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:12,348
Okay, well, if you want to turn
down getting money, be my guest.

191
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,474
But wait a sec.

192
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,933
We haven't even washed
your car yet.

193
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,477
Y'all not touching my car
with them linty rags.

194
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,687
Try microfiber.
Ugh.

195
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,397
What would y'all do
without me?

196
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,107
I will talk to the cafeteria
and let them know

197
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,026
they don't need to use MSG
in everything.

198
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,612
Okay?
Y'all have a good night.

199
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,199
[ Sighs ] Hm.

200
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,451
Amber. Hi.

201
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,746
Um, wel-
welcome to the Open House.

202
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,082
Mm-hmm.
"Interim Principal Eddie."

203
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,625
"Interim" about
sums you up.

204
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,377
[ Chuckles ]

205
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:44,254
I heard your boring ass
is dating a teacher now.

206
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,340
That's a power imbalance.

207
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,008
You know what?
That's a good point.

208
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,760
You know what?
I actually have to, um,

209
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,679
go attend to something.

210
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,516
Wait.
I recognize that slinking.

211
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:58,143
You dropped off a pizza to us
a couple weeks ago.

212
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,104
Left it on the sidewalk.

213
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,647
You know
I got a doorbell cam.

214
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,190
Looking like Bigfoot.

215
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,652
Okay, listen,
so I didn't come to your door

216
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:10,322
because... I wanted to wait
until tonight's Open House

217
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,491
to tell you just how great
Joel and Megan have been doing.

218
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,076
Yeah?

219
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,370
Yeah, they're really thriving
in Miss Cooper's class.

220
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,455
Uh, you should see their project
on the Constitution.

221
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,582
It's actually better
than our current one.

222
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,710
Okay,
I guess I'll check it out.

223
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:25,130
Thanks,
Interim Principal Eddie.

224
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,220
That was a close call,
but you handled it well.

225
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,680
Thank you.

226
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:38,935
Even though you walk like
the alien in "Signs."

227
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,023
Is she still doing it?

228
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,902
Okay, just...

229
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,738
We got another tip.

230
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:53,532
Whoo! Yeah!
Alright. Awesome.

231
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,201
Let's tally up our bounty
and see where we're at.

232
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,412
Okay. Whoo! Whoo!
[ Imitating drum roll ]

233
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,643
Well, Mr. Johnson,
you want to do the honors?

234
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,836
No, no. Mr. J.,
you got to do the line

235
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,588
above the zero, not below.

236
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,214
Y'all owe
the thermometer money.

237
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,216
Wait, what?
Huh?

238
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,760
What- What do you mean?
How is that possible?

239
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,470
We've been working
our butts off.

240
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:18,432
He's right.
We spent $275 on supplies.

241
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:22,352
We only made $163
in donations. [ Scoffs ]

242
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,480
And $100 of that
came from Ava.

243
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,065
Those damn gentrifiers
haven't been tipping.

244
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:28,650
Yeah, well,
we should have expected that.

245
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,235
It's in their nature
to be cheap.

246
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,237
Alright, well,
I will go, uh,

247
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,280
drum up
some more business.

248
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,909
Ow.
Sorry. Sorry.

249
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,996
Gregory, we are losing money
on the car wash.

250
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,664
What?
What about the tips?

251
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,500
Apparently,
people think we're in Europe.

252
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,793
And we only have
a couple of hours left.

253
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,544
And I don't think
we're even going to break even.

254
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:48,921
[ Sighs ]

255
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,131
Oh, wait a minute.

256
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:54,593
Ava said she had a list of
high-net-worth potential donors.

257
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,512
She probably was collecting them
as eligible bachelors,

258
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,347
but maybe we can reach out.

259
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,015
Right, yeah,
that's worth a shot.

260
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,666
And if that doesn't work,
we're screwed. [ Chuckles ]

261
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,646
I'm just being realistic.

262
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:08,982
You know, there's some
pretty high-profile people

263
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:09,900
who attend my church.

264
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,444
Barbara, is it Jesus?

265
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,695
Well,
he's one of them.

266
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,405
Okay, well,
let's take a beat on that

267
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,696
and just focus on the ones
with phone numbers.

268
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,868
Okay.

269
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:23,455
Free car wash and a chance
to help children in need!

270
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,082
Be a hero!

271
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,292
Hey,
turn that thing down.

272
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,919
You're driving away
my business.

273
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,879
Yeah. Okay.
Um...

274
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,674
[ Alarms blaring ]

275
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:36,552
Ah. Hello.
What's good?

276
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,804
Whoa.
I got the text message about the fundraiser.

277
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,181
That's an interesting wallet.
[ Chuckles ]

278
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,432
Happy to support.

279
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,768
God bless you
and your generous donation.

280
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,562
Thank you very much.

281
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,981
[ Squeals ]
It's working.

282
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,649
Ava's list
of high-net-worth donors

283
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,985
are actually
coming through. Ooh.

284
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,696
These guys
are drug dealers. What?

285
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,614
Don't ask me how I know
without my lawyer being present,

286
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,157
but it's true.

287
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,534
Hey,
stay out of the trunk.

288
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:02,578
You know, maybe
he's just a private person.

289
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,913
You know, I don't want anyone
snooping in my trunk, either.

290
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,874
Yeah, exactly. I mean,
you shouldn't profile anyone.

291
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,918
I mean, just 'cause they have
a lot of money and nice cars.

292
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,296
Hey, did you guys know these
things have a siren on them?

293
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,107
[ Siren wailing,
tires squealing ]

294
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,849
[ Gasps ]
Yeah, these guys are drug dealers.

295
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,475
Told you.

296
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,768
And that's what
we're doing to improve

297
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,104
all of your children's
reading comprehension levels.

298
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,355
It's been
quite efficacious.

299
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,565
"Efficacious."

300
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,442
It- It takes a village.
Truly.

301
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,110
Thank you.

302
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,486
You know,
as interim principal,

303
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,114
I really want to cultivate
a workplace

304
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,657
rooted in mutual respect
and-

305
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,076
Darnell: Sup, bitch?

306
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,080
You let my son down.

307
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,877
Maybe this is where
drug money should be going,

308
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:55,088
back into the community.
Absolutely not.

309
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:58,300
Barb, you know, you take
away the "drug dealer" part,

310
00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,801
they're really
just small-business owners.

311
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,595
She has got a point.

312
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,389
They don't say anything about
not smoking weed in the Bible.

313
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,558
They do say something
about a burning bush.

314
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,228
Ah!
[ Both chuckle ]

315
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,022
Okay. I'm sorry.
You're right, okay?

316
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,690
But we're in the worst shape
we've ever been in.

317
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,859
And now we're
not even going to make enough

318
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,736
to build back what we lost.

319
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,696
So how'd you guys do?

320
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,365
[ Exhales sharply ]

321
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,450
Based on those sad faces
and that icy thermometer,

322
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,702
I'm guessing not well.

323
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,663
Did you guys text the
drug dealers I told you about?

324
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,665
'Cause one thing about them
is they gonna text back fast.

325
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:33,335
We did, but Barbara won't
let us keep the money. Mnh-mnh.

326
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,711
Damn, Barb,
can't you just throw

327
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,338
some holy water on it
or something?

328
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:39,466
Well, I guess we just
wait for the next budget meeting

329
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:43,136
and hope that luck is
on our side. [ Chuckles ]

330
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,471
Nah,
we can make this work.

331
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:45,931
Uh, how?

332
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,557
We've only got an hour
of daylight left.

333
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,267
See, this is what's wrong
with y'all.

334
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,103
You're always thinking
too small.

335
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,980
This presents us
with the opportunity to pivot.

336
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,815
A night car wash?

337
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:55,866
No.

338
00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,194
Block party.

339
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,779
Tear up that
cease and desist, y'all,

340
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,406
'cause AVA Fest is back.

341
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,281
- Alright.
- That's what we should've done.

342
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,034
- Facts.
- It always leads to money.

343
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:07,869
You're welcome.
[ Thunder crashes ]

344
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,207
Oh, I think the man upstairs
has something to say about that.

345
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,503
Well, so much
for the block party.

346
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,422
Are you really going to let a
little rain shut down AVA Fest?

347
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,257
I'm so glad I didn't
license it to y'all.

348
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,550
You'd have killed
the brand. Mm.

349
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,428
All we need to do
is move the block inside.

350
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:27,014
But it's practically raining
in the gym, too.

351
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,724
That's the beauty
of a block party.

352
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,226
It can happen anywhere-
classrooms, hallways.

353
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,978
Now all we need
are some attractions.

354
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,730
I'm a caricature artist.

355
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,231
Did it for 20 years
on Coney Island.

356
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,816
What? 20 years?

357
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,444
Well, mighta been an afternoon.
Seemed like 20 years.

358
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,071
Okay, there we go.
Who else can do things?

359
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,158
I can do tarot readings.
Hm. Predictable.

360
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,784
Ava: Janine,
what about you?

361
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,578
Do you have a single
moneymaking skill?

362
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:50,996
Um...

363
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,665
I like to draw cute things
on the kids' tests,

364
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,001
so maybe I can do
face painting.

365
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,295
Okay, I've seen those,
so that'll be free.

366
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,630
But we could get Wendell
and the cafeteria staff

367
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,632
to put out food and drinks

368
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,633
and upcharge the hell
out of everybody. Yeah.

369
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,510
Now, the only thing left
is a showstopper,

370
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,970
which I can make happen.

371
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,765
Ooh, ooh, I've got someone
who can stop any show.

372
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,475
Sure, Barb. Bring your
little church friend.

373
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,726
Just make sure
they get out of the way

374
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,311
when I get Stevie Wonder
to show up.

375
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,188
Ava, quit trying
to trick the blind.

376
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,814
It almost worked
two years ago

377
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,985
when I told him
this was the Staples Center.

378
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:21,860
I'll get somebody.
Are y'all in or not? Ms. Inez: Yes.

379
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,195
Yeah.
Yeah.

380
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,905
Yeah, okay,
but if it's Bon Jovi,

381
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,865
someone tell Captain Robinson
it's been fun.

382
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,325
Barbara: Girl.
[ Chuckles ]

383
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,576
Let's get to it.

384
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,912
I told you,
if his grades start slipping,

385
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,205
I was coming back
for round two.

386
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,748
Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.

387
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,249
Did his grades
actually slip?

388
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,751
Last time I checked,
they were great.

389
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,462
Jabari had an A 
in spelling.

390
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:43,465
Now he's down to an "A."
Says it's 'cause he misses you.

391
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,967
So, yeah,
that's on you, playboy.

392
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,260
Look, I had to step away
from my class

393
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,804
to take over
the interim-principal job.

394
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,347
That's not a real job.
You made that up.

395
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,890
It is. I'm temporarily
the principal right now,

396
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,434
but I still make sure
to check in with Jabari

397
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,478
along with the rest
of my students. No, no, no, no.

398
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,981
You built a bond with Jabari,
and now you let him down.

399
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:03,276
Do you know what that does
to his abandonment issues?

400
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:07,155
Darnell,
I give you my word.

401
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,324
I will always be there
for Jabari,

402
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,243
and I know you will, too,

403
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,702
considering how many times
you done come around here,

404
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,329
threatening to beat my ass.

405
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,248
And with both of us
on Team Jabari,

406
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,877
I am certain
he will be alright.

407
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,257
Okay. Okay.
Mm-hmm.

408
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,842
But if his grades
slip again...

409
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,927
Really?
No, no. I'm playing.

410
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,096
I'm playing, right?
That was funny. Yeah, that was good.

411
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,681
Okay. Yeah.
You alright, man.

412
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,182
[ Chuckles ]
It's okay.

413
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,852
Hey, but you got to stop
pushing my buttons, man.

414
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,270
[ Thunder rumbles ]

415
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,479
You better not be
looking at that camera.

416
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,064
I sw-

417
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,274
Nah,
I'm playing again.

418
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,483
Seriously.
Ah, there you go with that.

419
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,652
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
Doing callbacks.

420
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,196
Perfect.

421
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,532
Step right up.

422
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,993
See your true nature
in a caricature

423
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:55,078
or have a sorceress
tell you your fortune.

424
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,497
Or pay me $20
to roast your outfit.

425
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,541
$30 if you want me
to compliment it.

426
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,210
That shirt is ugly.
First one's free.

427
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,753
How's it looking?
Getting any warmer?

428
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,255
Yeah, it's better
than the car wash,

429
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,756
but we thought
it'd be closer.

430
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,717
We're not going to make it.

431
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:12,095
Damn. Fergie booked
another national anthem.

432
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,764
Jacob, quick, put on a wig,
and pretend you're Kevin Bacon.

433
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,224
Like "Footloose"
Kevin Bacon

434
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,215
or modern-day
car-commercial Kevin?

435
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,229
My church contact
came through.

436
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,398
Ava,
did you book a closer? No, I didn't, Barb,

437
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,983
but Gerald doing
a Sunday school puppet show

438
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,484
about the great flood
might not be enough.

439
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,196
Gerald's with his men's group
this evening.

440
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,031
Actually, I got...
Hi. Hi. Hi.

441
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,616
[ Gasps ]
Oh. Oh.

442
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:35,076
[ Gasps ]
...Miss Jill Scott.

443
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,286
Hi.

444
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:37,996
Thank you so much
for making this happen

445
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,040
with such short notice.

446
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,709
This lady has gone
above and beyond

447
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,837
to make my godmother feel
welcome in the choir,

448
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,340
and she can't even sing.

449
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,384
[ Laughter ]
It's the least I could do.

450
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,053
And who is this fine fella
with you? Hello.

451
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:55,222
Oh, this is Jax.
He's my security.

452
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,432
Oh.
I don't go anywhere without him.

453
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,184
There are a lot of weirdos
out there.

454
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,518
- Uh-huh. Sure are.
- Yeah.

455
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,979
You know, somebody went in
my dressing room

456
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,648
and stole my ear monitors.

457
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,024
- What?
- What?

458
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,192
Like, what you going to do
with ear monitors?

459
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,027
- Yeah. That's weird.
- That's weird

460
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,946
Well, welcome
to Abbott Elementary,

461
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:13,031
and, um...

462
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,909
Jacob will take you...

463
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:16,910
- To... somewhere.
- ...somewhere.

464
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,328
- Yeah, yeah.
- To the, um-

465
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,080
- Yeah, we go right this-
- Bye.

466
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,915
Thank you.
Thank you for coming.

467
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,124
Janine: Oh, my God.

468
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,834
I cannot believe
you got Jill Scott.

469
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:27,420
Well, the Lord-
Lord works in mysterious ways.

470
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,546
Mm-hmm.
Right, Barb?

471
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,589
- Mm-hmm.
- That's good.

472
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,715
Yeah.

473
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,133
I knew He had a plan
when he brought

474
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,928
Jill Scott's godmother
to our church choir.

475
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,682
And it wasn't because
we needed a crackly soprano.

476
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,476
[ Cheers and applause ]

477
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:46,523
It's so good
to be here with you.

478
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,400
You're charging more
than a Jill Scott concert.

479
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,318
Yeah, 'cause this isn't
a Jill Scott concert.

480
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,153
It's AVA Fest.

481
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,697
Looks like
the fire department is here

482
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,532
to shut us down.
Nah, he's with me.

483
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,908
Did I miss her sing
"A Long Walk."

484
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,326
I left Johnny alone
with a kitchen fire

485
00:17:58,327 --> 00:17:59,119
to get here on time.

486
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,704
No. Not yet.

487
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,164
[ Vocalizing ]

488
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,207
Get up!

489
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,294
Everybody, get up!

490
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,089
? I'm taking my freedom ?

491
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,966
? Pulling it off the shelf ?

492
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,427
? Putting it on my chain ?

493
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,095
? Wearin' it 'round my neck ?

494
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,931
? I'm taking my freedom ?

495
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,100
? Putting it in my car ?

496
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,810
? Wherever I choose to go ?

497
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,354
? Yeah, it will take me far ?

498
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,024
? I am, am, am... ?

499
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:32,110
[ Squeals ]
We did it. We did it.

500
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,279
Ava, this is amazing.

501
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,032
Honestly,
some of my best work.

502
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:37,741
I'm just curious, though.

503
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,118
What made you come back?

504
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,870
You guys were spinning
your wheels with a car wash.

505
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,330
[ Chuckles ]

506
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,040
Robots replaced sponges
years ago.

507
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:48,126
Okay. I thought we would've been
the least of your concerns,

508
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,254
what with your success
and the talks and all.

509
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,714
Yeah, I make a lot of money.
Just...

510
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,300
? Grooving all day long ?

511
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,344
Just doesn't
make me feel...

512
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,220
Fulfilled?

513
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,348
Shut up, Janine.
? I'll be high-stepping, y'all ?

514
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:03,099
? Letting the joy unfold ?

515
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,810
For some really annoying reason
that I can't explain...

516
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,647
...I miss it here.

517
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,982
? Yeah ?

518
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:13,234
Ava, do you want
to come back?

519
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,070
? I'm holding on
to my freedom ?

520
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,446
That's not an option, okay?

521
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,697
That door is closed.

522
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,366
Okay, but maybe
it doesn't have to be.

523
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,201
Look, a very wise person
once said,

524
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:24,454
"Every new beginning comes from
some other beginning's end."

525
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,498
[ Chuckling ] Okay.

526
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,291
? Representing His glory ?

527
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,877
Look,
if you want to come back,

528
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,568
we can find a way
to make it happen.

529
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,592
? Like it's golden, golden ?

530
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,052
? Like it's important ?

531
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,095
? Like it matters ?

532
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,888
? Like it's blessed ?

533
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,182
? Yeah ?

534
00:19:43,718 --> 00:19:45,683
I want to come back.

535
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:50,480
? Am, am, am ?

536
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:54,818
? Livin' my life
like it's golden, golden ?

537
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:57,028
? Golden ?

538
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,406
? Oh, yeah ?

539
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,116
Abbott Elementary.

540
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,160
[ Cheers and applause ]

541
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,207
[ Chuckling ]
There was a lot of energy.

542
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,625
Miss Scott,
before you go,

543
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,751
I was wondering
if I could have your autograph.

544
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:12,836
I'm a huge fan.

545
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,922
Okay. No problem.

546
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,091
I heard you were coming,

547
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,842
so I went home,
and I grabbed these.

548
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,223
Is that my-

549
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,393
Is- Is that my scarf
and my ear monitors?

550
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,645
Oh,
those are hearing aids.

551
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:34,607
Hold up.
I remember you. You do?

552
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:38,903
You're that guy who came
to 37 of my shows in one year.

553
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,197
You saw my Instagram Stories.
Wow.

554
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:44,117
No. Artists are alerted
whenever someone attends

555
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,910
10 or more of their shows.

556
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:49,372
I see. So you never saw
my tags. Noted.

557
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:53,751
You rushed my stage
in Pittsburgh in '05,

558
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:58,798
and you stole my scarf-
that scarf- off of my neck.

559
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,468
You're the whole reason
I hired Jax.

560
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,553
You're welcome
for the job, Jax.

561
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,514
Okay. I'm out.

562
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,100
Hey, wait.
I made you something.

563
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:15,448
Jax.

564
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:20,612
? Livin' my life
like it's golden ?

565
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,491
? Livin' my life
like it's golden, golden ?

566
00:21:23,541 --> 00:21:28,091
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